Latkes
by S. Muffin
Summary: AU. Advanceshipping. What do you get when you put Ash Ketchum in a kitchen with a stove, a spatula, a bowl of potato pancake batter, and a frying pan filled with oil? A mess.


**Latkes  
**By S. Muffin

* * *

"So...what exactly do I do again?"

May sighed lightly, trying to hide her impatience. Did she really have to explain this a third time? "Place a spoonful of batter on the pan, flatten it a bit with the spatula, and then let it fry. When the bottom side turns brown, flip it over and let the other side fry. The temperature is already set for you, so you don't have to do anything except flip. Think you got it?"

Ash glanced warily at the frying pan sizzling with oil. "I...I think so."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes with a small smile on her face, reassuringly placing her arms around his shoulders. "Ash, it's just like making pancakes. You'll do fine, I promise. Now, I'm gonna go help my mom set the table."

She kissed his cheek and walked out of the kitchen, leaving him alone with a bubbling frying pan that would soon be filled with delicious latkes. Well, they _would _be delicious, if all went well and he didn't turn them into black crisps. May knew that the closest he ever came to cooking anything was toasting bread, and even then he still managed to burn it, but despite his protests she insisted that'd he'd manage.

Hesitantly, he placed a spoonful of batter onto the frying pan. He jumped when the oil hissed and crackled, dropping the spoon onto the floor with an echoing clang.

"Ash, is everything all right?" May called from the dining room.

"Y-yeah! Everything's great!" He laughed uneasily as he bent down to pick up the spoon, unknowingly bumping against the knob on the stove and turning it so the flames beneath the frying pan grew. "Just...great."

He walked over to the sink, dropping the spoon in and getting a clean one from the drying rack. He sighed sullenly. He really wasn't made for this whole cooking thing.

The smell of something burning suddenly entered his nose. Panicked, he hurried over to the stove, noticing that the knob was turned all the way to 'High'.

"Gyah!" He lowered the temperate and quickly flipped the latke with the spatula, groaning when he saw that the underside was completely black.

"Oh, come _on_," he muttered, pressing down on the potato pancake. "Can't you just cooperate with me? I'm new at this."

Using the clean spoon, he placed another lump of batter into the frying pan, flattening it with the spatula. He then added another, and then another, and then one more.

"Huh..." He smiled to himself, satisfied, turning the latkes over as they fried. "Maybe talking to them really works."

Feeling confident, he lifted the frying pan and, with a flick of his wrist, tossed the small pancakes in the air, grinning when they all flipped and fell back neatly in their places. Smugly, he attempted it again.

"Ash?" May called.

Startled, Ash unwillingly let the frying pan slip out of his hand as he went to toss the latkes again. He shouted in surprise as they flew everywhere, winced when the frying pan landed with a loud clash onto the floor behind him, shouted again when he tripped over his feet, and then groaned in pain when he landed on the floor, his hand knocking the plastic (and thankfully so), blue bowl of batter down from the counter and onto his head.

"Ash?" May asked again as she entered the kitchen. "How's it—oh my gosh!"

She rushed over and kneeled beside him, lifting the bowl from his head and placing it back onto the counter.

"What the..." she started, trailing off when she the latkes scattered everywhere, the frying pan on the floor, and Ash's hair and face smeared with batter. She stared at him for a moment, taking in the messy yet...extremely funny sight.

Ash folded his arms and scowled, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment. "I told you I couldn't cook..." he grumbled.

May pressed her lips together and nodded, her shoulders shaking.

"May..." Ash's eyes narrowed when he realized what she was doing. "It's. Not. Funny."

Snorting, she placed the bowl back on his head and then proceeded to burst out laughing.

* * *

Mmm latkes

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of people like to write Christmas-themed stories? I love Christmas just as much as the next guy, but I figured it was time for a change. So May's Jewish now.

Hope you liked it :D


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